I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
