yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
