im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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