forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
pray to the hookup gods
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
