my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
