I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
