You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize