You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
