Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
