he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
