the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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