I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
