I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
pray to the hookup gods
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize