Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
