So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
