yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
