if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
