He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
