I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
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