Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Randomize
