If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
