my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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