let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Randomize
