We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
