I think i sorta joined a cult last night
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize