Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
