Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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