So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
