I hate all girls vehemently.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
