i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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