we're blogging at a bar
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
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