Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
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Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
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Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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