this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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