The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
