Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
