roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
