sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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