U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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