so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
