We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
