That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I stole a fireplace last night.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
