ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize