need another drink. this is the easiest way
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
