Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
