do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
