super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
