nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
