i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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