But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
