We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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