I think scott just propositioned me for sex
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
