I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
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Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
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You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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