I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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