some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize