so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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