Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
